FINALLY!
poster had been finalized and printed out.
looks quite good. not too bad.
i think i am going crazy soon. too stress.
my eyes hurt. straining my eyes too hard just now.
i need to de-stress. my mind is in a whirl. and my heart is thumping so fast.
am i going to die soon? if my heart just thump too fast for too long?
alright. im crazy.
stand by me. thats the song i heard in the FM.
dedicate it to my team mates. lols
please do stand by me during presentation!!!
if not, i think i would just DIE.

maybe im too sarcastic. =)))    
im off to read my poster and report! byes!

this story really touches me.
read it. =))
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.

His bed was next to the room's only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end.

They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.

Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats.Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fineview of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man onthe other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.

She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.
He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.


It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.'


Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.


'Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present.'

Nature has given to men one tongue, but two ears, that we may hear from others twice as much as we speak



that sentence meaningful right?
found it in a email that my friend sent me.
still awake. but going to bed soon. accompanying my friends. =))
so good right me?? im a good listener.. wahahas.  =)))
just for a short update. ciaos!! muacks!! hehes.

future. friends had been asking me what am i going to do after graduation.
the answer i had been giving is "work lor"
i mean what else can i answer. or maybe i would be more hardworking.
half study. half work. i think that is going to kill me. but for my future. my determination is going to stay!!
yeah. so now have to buck up. its week 14. 2 more weeks and we are seperating from our class once again.
hate when this time arrives. =((
cause i need to get used to the new class, although most of the people i knew.
but its different when u are in the class. i mean you will see them more often and conflicts might arise?
who knows. yar. being a bitch to think about it now. damn it.

better not think about it. cause i might go into a drawing circle state. which i might get hard to recover from.
lols.

i am so going to be sick. i think my throat is itchy. and i am having block nose. which is irritating me for days.
and i cant eat seafood for a week. grrr......help!! =(((

maybe i should stay happy for a change. =))))))
no point being sad.. must be happy. alright????
seen so many things happen recently. gosh. but its okay. we have each other to support. alright?
=)))))) love u darlings, bitch

im back to bloggings.
cause i am stuck with my fyp. i did my part. but i have no idea how to add on by adding more words.
gosh. someone teach me. =(((
fyp is killing me. and i cant do anything about it. i guess no one else could.
my classmates are all telling me that they are done with their report and preparing for their poster ler.
which kind of kill my mood ya know? cause what im doing, or what we are doing is still the report.
which i have no idea what to add on!!! i felt so empty. emptyness kill.

fine. whatever. im done with boredness.
after this post, im going back to my report and stuff myself with words and info to write it.
damn.
today after school went to mac with gfs. i dint eat mac. just ate some fries and few spoons of ice cream. lols.
green tea flurry. keke. nice nice. =))))
then went on to boon lay to meet up with boon!!!!! =))))
saw her sunburn black face. not black lar. just TOO tanned. keke
pinched her again. just missed pinching her. =P
then we went on to YELLOW shop to pierce. the people there damn fierce ar. not like servicing people like that. lols.
it was numb. damn numb. then it came to pain. damn. lols. but i felt shiok. im not sadist. but i just like the feeling.
fine. if u think thats sadist. just be it. lols!! i dont care..
boon pierce 2. me just 1. she cant pierce anymore. keke
cause her sis pierce 4. so she cant pierce any more than that.
if i got a urge to pierce, wonder who can i ask to go along. =X
haas. went to mac to have dinner and get the cup. keke
then we chatted about our class and stuff. keep laughing non-stop. LOL.
talking about our facis, fyp. classmates. just relax and chat.
missed her laughter. haas. cause its so influential. and funny. lols.

alright. its time back to fyp report. byes. =(((
i need a hug. someone give me a hugg cann?? =((



PS: da gong zu. imsorry. to make you cry this morning. dint meant to.
dint meant to lecture. i dint expect that i would react that way to you.
i know that you cant control it. and yet i still yell at you. talking to you in a harsh tone. imsorry.
im sorry.....really.

im back at home. like finally.
i am still having my headaches. when can it go away.
maybe i havent been sleeping much lately.
staying up late for the damn report. handing it in on 29 July.
had to do report. do rj for the damn FYP. stress.
and today our dear supervisor just told us that whatever we had done for our project no need ler.
those shelvings no need to buy. supplies for the goods also no need ler.
wtf. i mean all those effort all for nothing??
and now we are going to some shop to do all those analysis?!
damn it. damn pissed. damn upset. damn damn damn!!!

just went to PS yoshinoya for dinner.
im announcing broke!! totally broke. and i just remembered that im going to pierce my ear tmr.
lucky boon reminded me. opps. =X
decided to go Boon Lay there see see walk walk. =)))
haven see ah boon for quite some time. miss pinching her cheeks. and she turn TOO TANNED. keke

im tired. tired to do anything. just wants to relax and hugg my boii boii.
saw something while on my way back home.
couples. envious. jealous. lols.
i want someone shoulder for me too. just want to lean on it. especially when i am tired. =((

alrights. long time no update.
first of all.
i want to thank Mookie, Peck and Winnie for treating me to a expensive Jap restaurant at Esplanade.
the atmosphere were great. haas. except the view down from the roof towards the river is abit horrible.
due to the construction works. lols!! but the wind there was great. =)))
then next is my gurl friends. my ex classmates and my current classmates. =))
they gave me surprises. and while my gf cooked for me. keke. *blush*
and gave me my present at the end of my class. which made me cried. gosh.
it was big and HUGGABLE. and i named him boii boii!!!  lets show him to U. =)))
see!! hes cute right? wearing a cap!! aww~
then next was bitch and wl birthday.
was doing a photo album for her. busy night.
really hope she liked it. lols. and hope its practical for her. =)) keke
then for dinner, we went to bugis. actually its for steamboat, but in the end it was ajisen. =/
haas. it was alright for me. cause i dint have much appetite. quite full after eating.
it was fun with them. cause the guys were bullied by us. =X
and that bitch is just soooo concentrated with her fringe. OMG. which irritates me abit. lols
cause her fringe is ALRIGHT! but she just find it weird. people are like that. includes me. lols!
then the birdday boii treated us ice-cream!! weee!! so nice of him!
then later i took bus home. alone. sadds. cause my ez-link card has no money. and no cash to top up.
so took bus. cause i have bus concession.

then saturday. went to work just for a day. it was just plain BORED.
but i counted that we were lucky. cause me and yl were in Outram.
and i met Mookie!! lols.went for breakfast. he treated. it was SPICY prawn noodle.
he lar! butt itchy say add more chilli. in the end, i ate half of it only. lols.
then he went for school and i waited for yl to reach. then was slacking until 9.30 pm just listening to music and doing nothing.
just kena stared by people who walked past. im just too curious. do we look like a freak?? OMG
stare at us machiam like what lor. damn pissed off. lucky i got friends to sms when im there. wahaha.
but i know that my bill is going up as well. opps. i dont care!!! cause im bored!!! =P

i went home and slept straight away. was damn tired. these few days were just too lazy for me to on my laptop.
TOO LAZY. lols. then i used my desktop to download my 6ps. for UT. and studied for a while.
dont know whether anything went in anot. LOL.  and next i went to bed. wahahas. of course! hugging my boii boii to sleep!! =)))

and right now. im having a terribleheadache. and thanks darling for buying me panadols. =))
and daniel. for the extra lollipop today. =P  but i asked for it. so bhb right. =(( opps.

OMG.
yar. im starting my blog with OMG. i just turned 20! yesterday. sads. living my years ahead with the number 2!!
makes me sounds OLD. =( but its okay. its bitch turn to be 20 after next 56 mins!!
haas. and bitch comes to me say emo. emo. emo. keke
dont emo alright. its just the number 2. not the 0
lols! alright!! and the next thing that i am going OMG. is HIM!!!!
telling me to be his gf. freak. wonder if he is just joking or what. or just pure lonely in the camp.
just wanted some gurl to send him off to the camp. damn him!! =((
wahahas. anyways. gotta do something ler. ciaos. just here for a short blog.
let my craziness to disperse right here. sounds abit wrong. but whatever.
lols!

today starting off with a late morning. haas. i woke up at 1pm bahs.
then started eating my brunch. while i watched "over her dead body".
its nice. not touching. but just nice. not boring. just funny. hahas.
then went to wash up and then set off to bugis. actually it was going for lunch at tampanies first then going off bugis.
but suddenly change of plans. nevermind. either way works for me. cause i get to get my things!!
first we went to the temple to pray. yes. then walked to bugis street. i love shopping with my mum there.
cause all i have to do is try the clothes, and then she will pay for it. =X  sorta bad. but i guess people does it too.
went to try 2 jeans. and yar. of course my mum pays for it. =)) loves u mum!
and then went on to the bag shop. got a bag. =)) and yes! my mums pays 20 bucks for it. =)) loves u mum! again.
follow on, we went to Tampanies mall to get my hp!! =)) it was the last phone for that model. lucky me!!! =))
tell me that im lucky!! wahahas! it was out of my budget!! definitely! 400+ damn it. it was sooooo not on the website!!
got cheated. and my mum reluctantly paid for it. but i still loves u mum! again and again!! =))))
then we met up with bros for dinner. went to century square that ramen shop to eat.
it was nice. and filling. hehes. ate the most expensive food. gosh! >.<
and then went to whitesand at pasir ris for a ice cream treat from my bro.
wahahas. just a day of spending!!! i felt so sinful for my mum. =((

and theres no reply from my friend to see if hes alive anot. damn him. =/

and to my darling. DONT ANYHOW THINK ANYMORE. gosh!!!
i so hate that fellow. damn him. just make ppl SO uncomfortable.

starting of the day. i dint woke up yet. but peck called me up. i was sleeping.
so glad that i changed the habit of screaming at the person who woke me up. haas.
asked me if im free on 15. but im going out with darling. hehes. so sorry.
so i said monday. which is the 14th. hope its gonna be a happy day. hehes. =)))  definitely. =)
then i went back to sleep. im sooo tired. cause i talked to lingling over the phone yesterday night.
gosh. had to brainwashed her. haas!! but i guess it dint work when she told me just now. damn.
wanted to bash that uncle so much.  damn him. =((



actually, now i think back if there was this very guy to appear in my life. i would find it troublesome. LOL.
cause theres always a guy there waiting for you, needing you at the same time. which sounds so strange or weird to me.
the feeling of being in love is already quite unfamiliar. cause being in love for me is so much harder than asking me to get a A in class.
okay. thats not a very good example. but that is the feeling. just so hard. friends around me, are ALL troubled by LOVE.
why is the 4 letter words troubling us so much?? why not the answer to it is also another 4 letter word. starting with F.
opps. i sounded so crude. lols. cause its just giving us so much unhappiness. =((
or maybe should i say that im in love with love just one-sided? haas. that is so different from being in love.
cause love is mutual. and i wonder how does it feel like. wanted to feel that again. but im afraid i would run away from that feeling.
but whatever it is. right now. at this moment. i do not feel like being in love. haas. cause i saw so much sadness in my friends.


alrights without the sadness. lols! i went for dinner with my family. the food not so nice for me. dont quite like it.
so i would be avoiding that place. lols. then we went compass point to walk. walk. see. see.
then my mum saw a bonia pouch and ask if i wants it anot? then i decided no. cause it was 60 bucks AFTER discount. gosh.
so ex. and its the last pouch ler. everyone is getting it. =/  then we walked up to the ladies department.
saw some dress nice. haas. wanted to try them for my bros wedding. but somehow it looks weird when i had a dress on me.
then i went to Fashion Lab to try some again. but NO. haas. saw a cute one. but no.
decided to wear a tube and a skirt. the style is more like me. lols. compared to a dress.
=)) then went to BEST. saw a electric keyboard!!! YAMAHA de~!!!!  selling at 270 leiis!!! =(((
and my dad says NO. a big NO in my face. im damn sadded!!!  my mum lorhs!! asked me ask him.
make me emoed for a moment. then my cousin bugged me to play with him.
hmm. he these few weeks quite stick to me wor. i wonder why. LOL.
maybe im cute? wahahas. opps. *shys* 
now im wondering what to wear on monday. the gang have not tell me where they are going to eat.
i picked a jap crusine. cause peck asked me to choose. and i think some of them just came back from thailand.
GOOD LUCK wor!!! =)))))) just do your besties okays? hehes. just imagine im behind help u all jia you!!! =))
OH YAR!!!!!!!! im not getting my hp on mon!! im going to get it TOMORROW!!!!!!!!
yeahs!! and getting my jeans and my BAG!!!!!!!!! wahahas!!! i serious need a bag. cause my sling bag is dying on me TOO.
duper sads. my bag seems to be dying on me ALWAYS. am i that rough? =/
so people who plans to get me bag, dont bother. wahahas! =X so bhb.

anyways. i wanted to thank my MUMMIE!!! i lobe you lots lots. mummie!!
i will feel paiseh if i say that to my mummie. *shys* haas.

and to oyster.(xh)
good luck for your FYP presentation. =)))   dont say wrong things ar. or stutter during your presentation. keke. *evil laugh*

alrights. lets start my post with some good news. which is i am getting a new handphone on Monday!!!
just before my birthday. =)))  i made my mum agreed to buy me a phone on Monday. hehes.
and next, Happy Birthday Kah Mun. hehes hope u like the photo frame and the cupcakes. =)))
the cupcakes are too lovely to be eaten u know? they look so CUTE!!! ><

well, here comes the weird part. today cold chain. as usual the team NEVER changes. kinda sucks u know?  =X
i seems bad. =P   but nevermind. but my team mate is just weird weird weird!!!!! gosh. do all kinds of weird things.
like making hair all day long. machiam the hair hor will drop!!!  faints. then keep ka jiaoing my bitch. opps
abit obvious le hor. hahas!! whatever. i dont quite care. this is my BLOG. i write what i wanna say!!! haas.
i thought he would come up with better things for the PPT, but in the end, he only crop and paste the checklist.
OMG! like that i also know how to do!!! need to ask u do mehs?

then nevermind. we went to weiliang birthday party buffet. the atmosphere damn saddening larhs.
cause like so few people. i guess his friends all after work or something then very late come.
but we all went off before most of his friends came. we took photos. need to take from him after a few days later. =)))

then we went back to woodlands to chill. went to MOS. cam whoring over there. lols
dint quite bother about the people beside us. or around us. LOL.
we just kept taking photos non-stop. took 30 plus photos all together. wahahas.
long time never camwhore ler!! so happy. then soon its 10 plus ler.
so late ler, also need to go home ler. damn tiring. slept on the bus. keep nodding my head. =X
so paisehs. then slowly walk back home.

reached home. darling emo. =(((
cause got 1 bad bad guy made my darling emo. beat him. smack him. whack him!!
who asked him to make my darling emo!!!! =((((
darling dont sad alrights? we will be with u. he bully u, then we go whack him together!!
haas!!! alright lar. anything we will always be beside u alrights?

this month i would just say that im utterly broke.
yes. too many june and july babies. thats so killing me. including myself.
intend to treat myself more things. but it just ended up only a few things or rather 1 thing.
which is a hp. which i recently just decided on W960i. yes. that!
was cranking up either LG KU990 or SE W960i. but in the end, i chose that.
hope that i wasnt making a wrong choice. =))

dont come up to me and asked me not to think so much alright.
i know that you care. i know that you worry. but im fine. =))  really.
its just that i need to think things through. thats all.
i just felt that i totally had lost contact with all my juniors and stuff.
i should know that they missed me. and what am i doing?
just shitting around and stuck with my fyp stuff. which quite caught me up. cause of the irritating facilitator. double CHIN.
recently i just knew. or i just happen to know that one of my juniors and friend is going thailand for archery competition.
yes. seems that i missed out alot. really a bunch lots. which i hate to be so. =(
and recently, i think its just me being too busy to be bother about certain stuff.
then it tends to make me think. yes. the feeling of being UNKNOWN. yeap.
followed me for quite sometime. unsure of what they are doing. no idea where they are going.
so dont ask me where or what they are doing. cause i was not being informed. sadly. =((
maybe it wasnt a must to inform me. or they assume that i knew. or they presumed that im busy to know about the other matters.
insecurity. emptyness. fear. creeping up on me.  god. just stop torturing me alright?
guess i should be back to my normal state tomorrow morning. smiling. yes. thats my thing.
otherwise. i would have no idea what i would be doing other than smiling. =)))
sorry darlings. i am just grumbling. no worries. =))  after this, i will still be ur darlings. =))

and to one of my cherished friend, if you happen to know my blog. and read my blog.
please dont do anything silly. you have me. im always online to talk to you. you will always be my friend alright. =))

and to weijie boii. who is going to book in tmr!! good lucks! take care alright? miss u......r sarcastism. =))
hehes. =P

okay. i just realised that i had been tagged. by B-I-T-C-H. lols.
here it comes.

A. List seven quirks/habits/facts about you.
B. Tag seven people to do the same.
C. Do not tag the person that tagged you or say that you tag "whoever wants to do it".


1. Fact - i squirm and likes to hug pillow or bloster when i sleep. ( its just that comfortable. and securing dont u think so? )
2. Fact - my dad fav entertainment is to scare me. hes delighted to see me get scared out of my wits. =s
3. Habit - i will listen to music when i felt bored or when i am out alone.
4. Habit - i will log on to msn to chat whenever i used my laptop.
5. Fact - i love the sea. i love the sky. i love the beach. i love the breeze. ( like it when im at east coast )
6. Fact - i have SERIOUS mood swings. and its all written on my face.
7. Habit - i dont comb my hair after bath. ( only when i am staying home after bathing )

done with tagging. gosh. dint realise until i crack my brain for it.
now its my turn to tag people. =))))
tagg people are!!!    =>    ChuYun, YenLeng, ChaiNee, WeiLiang, Penny, JM and!!  Joey!!!

finally. thought of who to tagg. wants my brain to stop functioning for a moment. geesh.
recently, had been cracking my brain of what phone to buy. choices are SE and LG.
no samsung. no nokia. no motorola. =)))  dont quite like those brands.
SE choices will be C902, W960i
LG choices will be LG KU 990. http://www.gsmarena.com/lg_ku990_viewty-2070.php
give me some comments alright? im brain dead.


alright. these few days, i had been thinking alot.   yeah.shouldnt have been doing that.
i need assurance. i need company. im no longer independent. =(
yeah. thinking alot doesnt helps. it just helps to increase my emoness. geez.
i think i should turn in early to help myself not to think so much. crap. =S

craps. crap. crapped.

just finished watching penelope.
it is nice. i would rather say its quite sweet at the end.
alright. emotions running through every part of me.
sensitive and touchy. yes. which means my emotions are UNstable.
and its VERY unstable. may it be my lack of sleep or just some PMS.
i would not bother about the causes but rather something to prevent me from flaring up.
yes. something. THAT something makes me fill up my eyes with tears.
but they are unwilling to drop somehow. yes. dont ask me why.
just want to keep my mouth shut. =((
really feeling unhappy now. maybe im too sensitive.
but that person just makes me feel that no matter what i cant compare to the other friends of his/her.
no wish to say the gender of the person. so who you think just think. i would not entertain you.
alright. maybe i am making a bit obvious. shit. but what?  i am feeling shitty now.
filled with crap. maybe i would be better if alone aint i?
so that i would not be filled with disappointment once and once again.
its like friends are leaving me. its the feeling. not literally.
friends is something we all NEED. but finding a suitable one is hard.
always thought that i found 1. but in the end. its just so. so unpredictable.
yes. always unpredictable. sometimes im satisfied with my life.
cause i had my family. my school. my studies.(although its not good enough)
but sometimes i just hate my life.
cause of some feelings that i greed of. comparing myself and the others.
why the others could have friends that they had for so long. and why cant i?
why my friends are so lovable that everyone likes them. what about me?
i am just some one additional in their life. just to entertain them when they are empty. or when they feel needed.
yes. i wanted to felt needed. cause it means that i am still something in their life.
if i dont feel needed, it would means that i am not even someone important in their life.
maybe its wrong to feel that way. or stupid to think that way.
just kill me. yes. suicidal thoughts came to mind. right now. yes.
just like the past. when yesterday i told myself i would not do stupid stuff after reading friends blog when he said he wanted to suicide.
and right NOW. im thinking of suicide. geez. dumbfool. 
its like nothing i did is right. have confidence?! think too much?!
all these are what people told me. yeah. im thinking too much alright. so dont bother me then.
just let me think. let me think until i die. geesh.
dammit. i thought i would be all happy and stuff.  and whenever i am, stupid stuff just have to happen.
yes. stupid stuff. named it stupid stuff. stupid stupid stupid. dumb dumb dumb.
FREAK!!    GET LOST!!!!!!!!                           byes. tired of crying. tired of grumbling. tired of being stupid to anyone anymore.
leave me alone.

suhaili. my team mate for the day. i would say something.
thank you. you MADE my day! LOLs!!
i think what happened, my classmates all knew. so i shant say it further. LOLs.

really need some posting back in here.
if not i think my blog is going to die soon. again.
sick these few days. something is wrong with my stomach. =((
going to have stomach cancer? LOLs.
in the past, i sometimes wished that i had it.
but even now i have, i would rather i dont wish to know that i have it. =))
*machiam say until i have like that.* LOLs
nothing much these few days.
just that my pay is not even here. no news about it.
then people birthday are just around the corner. so had to fork out money.
yes. sam and ros. then later on is bitch and weiliang's.
damn. no idea what to buy for them. opps.
shant let bitch see this. =P
july babies. too many of them. and i knew too many of them.
but i am one myself. =)))
i think i spent too much money this month. so sads.

too much to think recently.
recalling the times at secondary school. haas.
this particular guy. yes. he made my day by always making me laugh.
fate. fate. just fools human. no matter what.
okay. it was a random thingy.
now, something else is bothering me. trying not to think too much. =((
but still feeling sad though. emos now larhs. dont bother me too much. =(((
yar. elmo is with me.

think. thought. think.                                           fadings.